Recovering from Betrayal
In one of her novels, Toni Morrison tells the story of Nel and Sula, friends since childhood. But the friendship frays as Sula’s self-centeredness grows, culminating in her seducing Nel’s husband. “Why didn’t you think about me?” Nel asks Sula. “Didn’t I count?” Sadly, Sula doesn’t even care enough to answer.
As anyone who’s experienced it knows, the pain of a friend’s betrayal is hard to rival. King David felt such “malice and abuse” when a political conspiracy of “threats and lies” engulfed him (Psalm 55:10-11). The worst part was who was behind it. “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it,” he says. “But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend” (vv. 12-13).
How should we respond to such betrayal? While David takes his turmoil to God (vv. 16, 20), he prays retribution will fall on his betraying friend (v. 15). We see a different approach taken by Jesus. Faced with Judas’ betrayal, he says, “Do what you came for, friend,” refusing to retaliate in kind (Matthew 26:49-50).
Can a friendship recover from betrayal? Only if the offended can stay open to reconciliation and the offender proves their repentance over time. Sula’s lack of remorse means Nel must walk away. As God helps us, let’s treasure our friendships and swiftly make amends for any hurt we cause.
By: Sheridan Voysey - Our Daily Bread Ministries
Psalms 55:12-20
12 If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were rising against me,
I could hide.
13 But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
at the house of God,
as we walked about
among the worshipers.
15 Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the realm of the dead,
for evil finds lodging among them.
16 As for me, I call to God,
and the Lord saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
18 He rescues me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
19 God, who is enthroned from of old,
who does not change—
he will hear them and humble them,
because they have no fear of God.
20 My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.
